downn

i already read your update and it's killing me..
hey.. sorry but..
Although they dont know the real story but they try to understand, try to sit beside me, support me.. while you? you beside her..the people that i hate.. do you know how it feel ? seeing you like that make me feel down.. they try to understand my feeling right now, at this moment, at this kind of problem.. my though toward them be better now.. i been friend with them long time already and maybe thats why they know me more than other do..sorry but.. i have change my attitude toward you.. i dont want to do all of that but..i dont get the real you.. seem like you love her more.. right ? who 'her' ? the one who call you "kak gee"..
although they always leave me alone, they often ignore me, i always walk on step behind them.. but they are with me when i need someone to support me.. you say i'm changed but you changed more than i do.. it's not like i want to ignore you.. i love you a lot..

Do you remember.. the day we go to hangout? since that day.. i feel this feeling.. u still remember? when is whisper something about that girl and you say "hishhh" do you know how much i got heartbroken ? BECAUSE OF HER WE BE LIKE THIS AND I FREAKING HATE THAT GIRL ! 

i want to talk with you at the gate before back to home but seeing her around you, i rather stand alone... yesterday, i'm not laugh because of them.. but they say minho come to me so i laugh.. you see me laugh with them ? happy with them.. but dont you know that is FAKE ! i dont do that with you because i though you know my condition, because usually i can be the real me only INFRONT of you not my other friends.. i feel so bad when read your update.. the first, i though you and her just like, know each other.. but seem like it's not like that.. right ? i always talk bad about her.. dont you mad ? if you mad i'm sorry..

"chukkaeyo for having your bestfriend back ?" do you know how much your word here make me feel to choke myself ? i'm suffer a lot.. that's one of the reason i changed.. everywhere is a problem.. world can't stop judging.. THE LAST WORD FROM ME.. chingu, i'm sorry, i'm bad, i'm stupid, i'm useless, i make you hurting, i make you suffer.. it's all my fault..